McBibimbap (Fancy McDonald’s VI)
by Erik of Fancy Fast Food (with support from Emily Feinberg and some assistance from Hong Choi)
On a trip to Seoul, my Korean friend pointed out that many young Korean women are obsessed with taking pictures of “food porn.” Wherever we went out to eat, I saw evidence of this; in every restaurant, at least one Korean girl would have a big SLR camera and shoot pictures of her food, like some sort of paparazzo. Granted, the food in front of the lens was something of a stylish meal; Korean food, like Japanese food, has a certain aesthetic in its presentation — only it takes a lot more table space because those assortment of little banchan side dishes seem to take up every available bit of room.
Here’s a meal that Korean women would probably dare not take a photo of: a McDonald’s combo number 6, with a couple of salads, and two breakfast sandwiches — unless it was transformed into a mock bibimbap (a bowl of meat and mixed vegetables over rice, topped with a fried egg) the Fancy Fast Food way. Here’s how:
Ingredients (from McDonald’s):
- 1 Angus Mushroom & Swiss Burger
- 1 Egg McMuffin
- 1 Bacon Egg & Cheese Biscuit
- 2 Premium Caesar Salads
- 1 large fries
- 1 bottle of water
- 1 soft drink of your choice
- packets of Hot Picante Sauce
- packets of ketchup
First, shave off all the sesame seeds of the burger’s bun; we’ll use that for garnish later. Take apart the burger and scrape off all the mushrooms into a strainer or colander. Rinse them all under a sink to wash out the mayonnaise. Peel away the Swiss cheese — we don’t need it — and take a knife to the burger patty. Bias cut it into diagonal slices and set it aside.
McDonald’s doesn’t exactly serve rice, but they have plenty of starch in their famous fries. Chop the fries into small, rice grain-like pieces, and pile them up. Mince them down a little more to reduce their hard corners and then put them in a steamer and steam them for about 10-15 minutes. This will soften it up and give it a surprising texture of brown rice.
To make a mock kimchi (Korean spicy pickled cabbage), pick out all the lighter leaves of lettuce in the salads. Pour in a tiny bit of water, plus packets of the hot sauce and a couple of ketchups. Stir it all up until it looks like kimchi, complete with the occasional speck of red.
There are only so many carrot shreds found in a single salad, so pick out all the carrots from both salads. Slice them into strips the long way, so you have a nice pile for the dish when we plate it.
Scoop all the fake McRice into a fancy black bowl. Then place your items on top in a aesthetically pleasing way, in sections: the slices of beef, the mushrooms, the sliced carrots, the mock kimchi, and some of the darker greens from the salads. No bibimbap — fake or otherwise — is complete without a fried egg on top, and with McDonald’s lack of one on their menu, we’ll have to improvise.
Take the cooked egg from the Egg McMuffin and slice it in half along its side; it is mostly white and we’ll use that part for the egg white of our fake fried egg. To make the yolk, take the yellow scrambled egg from the breakfast biscuit. It’s not exactly the same hue of a yolk — but the cheese is, so pile that on top. Microwave it for 15 seconds so it melts down, and spread a layer over the egg. Then take a tablespoon to cut and carve out an almost perfect yolk-looking semi-bubble. Place that on the egg white and it’s a bit convincing — those Korean girls might not even be able to tell the difference!
Finally, garnish the top with some spicy gochujang-looking ketchup and the sesame seeds from the bun. Serve with the remaining mock kimchi on the side and your beverage of choice. 잘 먹겠습니다!
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