Chicken Pizza Masala (Fancy Pizza Hut) by Erik of Fancy Fast Food
With the overwhelming success of Slumdog Millionaire a couple of years ago, Indian entertainers are no longer constrained to Bollywood. Indians are becoming more prominent in the American entertainment scene, from director M. Night Shyamalan to comedian Aziz Ansari, and of course Apu from The Simpsons. Nowadays, NBC even has a sitcom that takes place in an Indian call center, and let’s not forget about those wacky MetroPCS commercials with those two Indian dudes.
With more and more Indians in the American pop culture landscape, it only makes sense to reciprocate and take something from the American pop culture and make it Indian — from a fast food perspective of course. White Castle already has associations with Harold & Kumar, so let’s go get a pizza.
Ingredients (from Pizza Hut):
- 1 medium Hand-Tossed Style Pizza with chicken, onions, and tomatoes; extra sauce, but easy on the cheese (unsliced)
- 1 order of buffalo wings (6) with blue cheese dressing (2)
- 3 orders of mariana sauce
- 1 bottle of water
- organic coriander (for garnish and an extra touch of irony)
First, pick the chicken, tomatoes, and onions off the pizza pie with your hands, and then scrape off the cheese or any extra topping pieces with a fork. Put all the toppings into a medium saucepan over a medium heat. Stir in all the marinara sauce, followed by all the blue cheese dressing. Pour in water as needed to give it a smoother texture. When it’s all mixed together, it should start to resemble the orange hue of a masala sauce. Add in the chicken wings and smother them so they are well-coated. Let it simmer for about ten minutes on a low heat.
Hopefully you ordered the pizza unsliced so that we can make some fake naan. Take the empty crust, flip it over, and flatten it further with a rolling pin. Then fold it in half, and then into a quarter; when you fold it, it sort of looks like naan, which is the perfect accompaniment for the dish.
Finally, the plating: spoon the chicken pizza masala in a small serving dish and garnish it with some chopped ironic coriander. Serve it with your fake naan, and enjoy. Namaste!
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