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Fancy Fast Food?

These photographs show extreme makeovers of actual fast food items purchased at popular fast food restaurants. No additional ingredients have been added except for an occasional simple garnish.

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*Remember the rules: no additional ingredients are allowed other than a simple garnish (which won't necessarily be eaten anyway, i.e. parsley), and no Photoshopping other than minor adjustments in sharpness or color correction. Please submit a "before shot" and photos of the makeover process as well.

Also, remember to wash your hands before you start preparing your dish! The signs in the fast food restaurant bathrooms might read, "Employees must wash hands before returning to work," but really, everyone should.







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Hawaiian Thanksgiving (Fancy McRib and Filet-O-Fish) by Erik of Fancy Fast Food (with some support from Miz Stacecoaster)
Ah, another Thanksgiving is here, and this year we have plenty to be thankful for — most notably the return of the McRib!  Yes, America’s favorite processed pork rib sandwich is back!  No need to wander the different corners of the country looking for it, like in that Simpsons episode where Homer and a band of “Ribheads” go on tour following their favorite pork sandwich’s limited regional availability; the McRib is now available nationwide after a hiatus of a long sixteen years!  Let’s celebrate the mechanically-separated Thanksgiving harvest!Last Thanksgiving, we here at the Fancy Fast Food kitchen teamed up with Wired to reshape a corn dog and sides into a traditional "Franksgiving Dinner." This year, we’re going to celebrate our beloved national holiday in these United States by being inspired by the last, but certainly not least state to enter the union, Hawaii. 
Ingredients (from McDonald’s):
1 McRib sandwich (with extra onions)
1 Filet-O-Fish sandwich
2 side salads
1 large fries
1 McCafé Wild Berry Smoothie
1 bottle of water
packets of salt
PLUS: a natural banana leaf (for presentation and a touch of irony)
The centerpiece of any Hawaiian luau — other than the girls dancing in hula skirts — is the Kalua pig, traditionally prepared in an underground oven until the pork is slow-roasted to juicy, tender perfection.  While that is ideal, we just have the McRib as our pork source so we’ll have to improvise.  First, remove all the onions from the sandwich and set those aside for later.  Then take the processed pork patty and run it under a faucet to rinse off all the barbecue sauce.  What you’ll have left is an oddly-shaped pork product with fake rib shapes that you can use for your imagination to pretend that there once might have been bones there.  (It’s supposed to simulate ribs after all.)  No matter about the lack of bones; bones always get in the way anyway, and really, who needs them?  You should be thanking McDonald’s for getting rid of the most annoying part about eating ribs: the actual ribs.  In fact, take it a step further and use a knife to get rid of the ribbed texture by slicing off the top layer of the pork patty.  Then flip the patty over and slice off the upper layer as well until you have a completely exposed slab of the other “other white meat.”  Cutting the long way, thinly slice the sides of the pork patty so you have strands of what should start resembling shredded pork.  We need to do this because the McRib isn’t pork in its natural form (surprise surprise), so the meat isn’t going to shred naturally along lines of muscle tissue fibers.  Slice the patty until you have long thin strips of “rib meat,” and then slice those into thinner and thinner strips so that the collective pile looks like a nice serving of shredded roasted pork.  Kalua pig will be the main dish, but another traditional Hawaiian recipe is lomi-lomi salmon, which we’ll make in a more realistic way, substituting the pollock in the Filet-O-Fish for salmon.  First, scrape off the tartar sauce and slice off all the breading of the Filet-O-Fish square, and then crumble the resulting fish filet into a mixing bowl.  Add a packet of salt since a real lomi-lomi recipe calls for salted salmon.  Then, take the four cherry tomatoes from the two side salads and dice them into small pieces.  Take all the onions from the McRib sandwich, rinse them in a strainer, and then chop them along with some greens from the salad — another improvisation for the original recipe’s call for green onions.  Put the tomatoes, greens and onions into the bowl of salted pollock and mix everything together in the traditional way: with your hands.  So we have Kalua pork and lomi-lomi-o-fish, but what’s a luau without poi, that pasty, starchy purple dip made from taro?  Of course we don’t have taro, but plenty of starch in our box of french fries.  Put those fries in a food processor, add some water, and give it a purple hue by way of 2-3 big spoonfuls of the Wild Berry Smoothie.  Blend it down until it’s the consistency of yogurt, and tada… McPoi!  Lastly, the plating: serve the “shredded” Kalua pork on a banana leaf, the lomi-lomi-o-fish on a fancy bamboo plate, and the McPoi in a small wooden bowl.  Pour the rest of the Wild Berry Smoothie in a tropical cocktail glass, and then decorate with cocktail umbrellas, leis, and a dashboard hula girl if you have one — and the Fancy Fast Food Hawaiian Thanksgiving is served! Aloha!

If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.
Recipe for the week of November 16, 2010:

Hawaiian Thanksgiving (Fancy McRib and Filet-O-Fish)
by Erik of Fancy Fast Food (with some support from Miz Stacecoaster)

Ah, another Thanksgiving is here, and this year we have plenty to be thankful for — most notably the return of the McRib! Yes, America’s favorite processed pork rib sandwich is back! No need to wander the different corners of the country looking for it, like in that Simpsons episode where Homer and a band of “Ribheads” go on tour following their favorite pork sandwich’s limited regional availability; the McRib is now available nationwide after a hiatus of a long sixteen years! Let’s celebrate the mechanically-separated Thanksgiving harvest!

Last Thanksgiving, we here at the Fancy Fast Food kitchen teamed up with Wired to reshape a corn dog and sides into a traditional "Franksgiving Dinner." This year, we’re going to celebrate our beloved national holiday in these United States by being inspired by the last, but certainly not least state to enter the union, Hawaii.

Ingredients (from McDonald’s):

  • 1 McRib sandwich (with extra onions)
  • 1 Filet-O-Fish sandwich
  • 2 side salads
  • 1 large fries
  • 1 McCafé Wild Berry Smoothie
  • 1 bottle of water
  • packets of salt
  • PLUS: a natural banana leaf (for presentation and a touch of irony)

The centerpiece of any Hawaiian luau — other than the girls dancing in hula skirts — is the Kalua pig, traditionally prepared in an underground oven until the pork is slow-roasted to juicy, tender perfection. While that is ideal, we just have the McRib as our pork source so we’ll have to improvise. First, remove all the onions from the sandwich and set those aside for later. Then take the processed pork patty and run it under a faucet to rinse off all the barbecue sauce. What you’ll have left is an oddly-shaped pork product with fake rib shapes that you can use for your imagination to pretend that there once might have been bones there. (It’s supposed to simulate ribs after all.)

No matter about the lack of bones; bones always get in the way anyway, and really, who needs them? You should be thanking McDonald’s for getting rid of the most annoying part about eating ribs: the actual ribs. In fact, take it a step further and use a knife to get rid of the ribbed texture by slicing off the top layer of the pork patty. Then flip the patty over and slice off the upper layer as well until you have a completely exposed slab of the other “other white meat.”

Cutting the long way, thinly slice the sides of the pork patty so you have strands of what should start resembling shredded pork. We need to do this because the McRib isn’t pork in its natural form (surprise surprise), so the meat isn’t going to shred naturally along lines of muscle tissue fibers. Slice the patty until you have long thin strips of “rib meat,” and then slice those into thinner and thinner strips so that the collective pile looks like a nice serving of shredded roasted pork.

Kalua pig will be the main dish, but another traditional Hawaiian recipe is lomi-lomi salmon, which we’ll make in a more realistic way, substituting the pollock in the Filet-O-Fish for salmon. First, scrape off the tartar sauce and slice off all the breading of the Filet-O-Fish square, and then crumble the resulting fish filet into a mixing bowl. Add a packet of salt since a real lomi-lomi recipe calls for salted salmon. Then, take the four cherry tomatoes from the two side salads and dice them into small pieces. Take all the onions from the McRib sandwich, rinse them in a strainer, and then chop them along with some greens from the salad — another improvisation for the original recipe’s call for green onions. Put the tomatoes, greens and onions into the bowl of salted pollock and mix everything together in the traditional way: with your hands.

So we have Kalua pork and lomi-lomi-o-fish, but what’s a luau without poi, that pasty, starchy purple dip made from taro? Of course we don’t have taro, but plenty of starch in our box of french fries. Put those fries in a food processor, add some water, and give it a purple hue by way of 2-3 big spoonfuls of the Wild Berry Smoothie. Blend it down until it’s the consistency of yogurt, and tada… McPoi!

Lastly, the plating: serve the “shredded” Kalua pork on a banana leaf, the lomi-lomi-o-fish on a fancy bamboo plate, and the McPoi in a small wooden bowl. Pour the rest of the Wild Berry Smoothie in a tropical cocktail glass, and then decorate with cocktail umbrellas, leis, and a dashboard hula girl if you have one — and the Fancy Fast Food Hawaiian Thanksgiving is served! Aloha!



If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.

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Chicken Pizza Masala (Fancy Pizza Hut) by Erik of Fancy Fast Food
With the overwhelming success of Slumdog Millionaire a couple of years ago, Indian entertainers are no longer constrained to Bollywood.  Indians are becoming more prominent in the American entertainment scene, from director M. Night Shyamalan to comedian Aziz Ansari, and of course Apu from The Simpsons.  Nowadays, NBC even has a sitcom that takes place in an Indian call center, and let’s not forget about those wacky MetroPCS commercials with those two Indian dudes.With more and more Indians in the American pop culture landscape, it only makes sense to reciprocate and take something from the American pop culture and make it Indian — from a fast food perspective of course.  White Castle already has associations with Harold & Kumar, so let’s go get a pizza.
Ingredients (from Pizza Hut):
1 medium Hand-Tossed Style Pizza with chicken, onions, and tomatoes; extra sauce, but easy on the cheese (unsliced)
1 order of buffalo wings (6) with blue cheese dressing (2)
3 orders of mariana sauce
1 bottle of water
organic coriander (for garnish and an extra touch of irony)
First, pick the chicken, tomatoes, and onions off the pizza pie with your hands, and then scrape off the cheese or any extra topping pieces with a fork.  Put all the toppings into a medium saucepan over a medium heat.  Stir in all the marinara sauce, followed by all the blue cheese dressing.  Pour in water as needed to give it a smoother texture.  When it’s all mixed together, it should start to resemble the orange hue of a masala sauce.  Add in the chicken wings and smother them so they are well-coated.  Let it simmer for about ten minutes on a low heat.  Hopefully you ordered the pizza unsliced so that we can make some fake naan.  Take the empty crust, flip it over, and flatten it further with a rolling pin.  Then fold it in half, and then into a quarter; when you fold it, it sort of looks like naan, which is the perfect accompaniment for the dish.  Finally, the plating: spoon the chicken pizza masala in a small serving dish and garnish it with some chopped ironic coriander. Serve it with your fake naan, and enjoy.  Namaste!

If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.
Recipe for the week of October 21, 2010:

Chicken Pizza Masala (Fancy Pizza Hut) by Erik of Fancy Fast Food

With the overwhelming success of Slumdog Millionaire a couple of years ago, Indian entertainers are no longer constrained to Bollywood. Indians are becoming more prominent in the American entertainment scene, from director M. Night Shyamalan to comedian Aziz Ansari, and of course Apu from The Simpsons. Nowadays, NBC even has a sitcom that takes place in an Indian call center, and let’s not forget about those wacky MetroPCS commercials with those two Indian dudes.

With more and more Indians in the American pop culture landscape, it only makes sense to reciprocate and take something from the American pop culture and make it Indian — from a fast food perspective of course. White Castle already has associations with Harold & Kumar, so let’s go get a pizza.

Ingredients (from Pizza Hut):

  • 1 medium Hand-Tossed Style Pizza with chicken, onions, and tomatoes; extra sauce, but easy on the cheese (unsliced)
  • 1 order of buffalo wings (6) with blue cheese dressing (2)
  • 3 orders of mariana sauce
  • 1 bottle of water
  • organic coriander (for garnish and an extra touch of irony)

First, pick the chicken, tomatoes, and onions off the pizza pie with your hands, and then scrape off the cheese or any extra topping pieces with a fork. Put all the toppings into a medium saucepan over a medium heat. Stir in all the marinara sauce, followed by all the blue cheese dressing. Pour in water as needed to give it a smoother texture. When it’s all mixed together, it should start to resemble the orange hue of a masala sauce. Add in the chicken wings and smother them so they are well-coated. Let it simmer for about ten minutes on a low heat.

Hopefully you ordered the pizza unsliced so that we can make some fake naan. Take the empty crust, flip it over, and flatten it further with a rolling pin. Then fold it in half, and then into a quarter; when you fold it, it sort of looks like naan, which is the perfect accompaniment for the dish.

Finally, the plating: spoon the chicken pizza masala in a small serving dish and garnish it with some chopped ironic coriander. Serve it with your fake naan, and enjoy. Namaste!



If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.

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Beef C’Arbysscio (Fancy Arby’s)by Erik of Fancy Fast Food (with some support from Lana Price)
The Raw Foods Movement may be getting plenty of attention these days in our modern food-obsessed culture, but it’s actually been practiced by people for millennia — from the first caveman who bit into an uncooked, prehistoric McRib before fire was invented, to celebrity raw food diet-endorsing Demi Moore, who has been munching on raw vegetables since before Ashton Kutcher was invented.The fast food chains haven’t really embraced raw foods (other than their salad offerings) but that doesn’t mean you can’t pretend things are raw. For this mock recipe, we are going to close our eyes and pretend beef is raw when making a beef carpaccio — and what classier place to get our freshly sliced beef than the fast food home of roast beef sandwiches.
Ingredients (from Arby’s):
1 Super Roast Beef Sandwich
1 Roast Turkey and Swiss Sandwich
1 order of Jalapeño Bites
1 side salad
1 medium fruit punch
packets of Arby’s Sauce and Horsey Sauce
First, take apart the roast beef sandwich and discover what we already know: that the roast beef isn’t raw; it’s roasted after all, and it’s brown-colored. Raw beef is supposed to be red, so we’re going to have to dye the beef. This is where the fruit punch comes in. Pour the fruit punch in a non-stick skillet and bring it to a boil so that it starts reducing. We want the red syrupy goodness to thicken before putting in slices of the roast beef. Coat both sides of the meat until it soaks up the red liquid, and then place the meat on a fancy white platter.  The red syrup will almost immediately start to dry out, so use a pastry brush to reapply the syrup as needed. For extra redness, you can brush on some packets of the reddish Arby’s sauce as well. Meanwhile, skin the jalapeño bites, and slice them the long way into strips; then use it to garnish the plate. While you’re at the cutting board, cut the Swiss cheese from the turkey sandwich into smaller pieces; use this for garnish too. For added flair, drizzle some Horsey sauce on top with a squeeze bottle. Finally, top the meat with some greens from the side salad and, if you want, slice the bread and buns into smaller pieces to serve it on the side. Presto! It’s so easy, even a caveman could do it — or Demi Moore, if she ever felt like it. 

If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.
Recipe for the week of September 22, 2010:

Beef C’Arbysscio (Fancy Arby’s)
by Erik of Fancy Fast Food (with some support from Lana Price)

The Raw Foods Movement may be getting plenty of attention these days in our modern food-obsessed culture, but it’s actually been practiced by people for millennia — from the first caveman who bit into an uncooked, prehistoric McRib before fire was invented, to celebrity raw food diet-endorsing Demi Moore, who has been munching on raw vegetables since before Ashton Kutcher was invented.

The fast food chains haven’t really embraced raw foods (other than their salad offerings) but that doesn’t mean you can’t pretend things are raw. For this mock recipe, we are going to close our eyes and pretend beef is raw when making a beef carpaccio — and what classier place to get our freshly sliced beef than the fast food home of roast beef sandwiches.

Ingredients (from Arby’s):

  • 1 Super Roast Beef Sandwich
  • 1 Roast Turkey and Swiss Sandwich
  • 1 order of Jalapeño Bites
  • 1 side salad
  • 1 medium fruit punch
  • packets of Arby’s Sauce and Horsey Sauce

First, take apart the roast beef sandwich and discover what we already know: that the roast beef isn’t raw; it’s roasted after all, and it’s brown-colored. Raw beef is supposed to be red, so we’re going to have to dye the beef. This is where the fruit punch comes in. Pour the fruit punch in a non-stick skillet and bring it to a boil so that it starts reducing. We want the red syrupy goodness to thicken before putting in slices of the roast beef. Coat both sides of the meat until it soaks up the red liquid, and then place the meat on a fancy white platter.

The red syrup will almost immediately start to dry out, so use a pastry brush to reapply the syrup as needed. For extra redness, you can brush on some packets of the reddish Arby’s sauce as well.

Meanwhile, skin the jalapeño bites, and slice them the long way into strips; then use it to garnish the plate. While you’re at the cutting board, cut the Swiss cheese from the turkey sandwich into smaller pieces; use this for garnish too. For added flair, drizzle some Horsey sauce on top with a squeeze bottle. Finally, top the meat with some greens from the side salad and, if you want, slice the bread and buns into smaller pieces to serve it on the side. Presto! It’s so easy, even a caveman could do it — or Demi Moore, if she ever felt like it.



If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.

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