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Fancy Fast Food?

These photographs show extreme makeovers of actual fast food items purchased at popular fast food restaurants. No additional ingredients have been added except for an occasional simple garnish.

The book, Fancy Fast Food: Ironic Recipes with No Bun Intended, is now available for sale! Enter code NFAZL9WC for 25% off!

Also available on Amazon.com.

Up for the challenge?
Submit your Fancy Fast Food culinary masterpiece recipes* to fancyfastfood [at] gmail.com -- and YOU COULD WIN A FREE BOOK!

*Remember the rules: no additional ingredients are allowed other than a simple garnish (which won't necessarily be eaten anyway, i.e. parsley), and no Photoshopping other than minor adjustments in sharpness or color correction. Please submit a "before shot" and photos of the makeover process as well.

Also, remember to wash your hands before you start preparing your dish! The signs in the fast food restaurant bathrooms might read, "Employees must wash hands before returning to work," but really, everyone should.







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The pop culture satirical cookbook, Fancy Fast Food: Ironic Recipes with No Bun Intended, is finally here! Buy it on Amazon, or at FancyFastFoodBook.com at 25% off! (Enter the secret Animal Style code “NFAZL9WC”.)Sublebration Cake! (Fancy Subway II) by Erik Trinidad of Fancy Fast Food (with support from Mark Trinidad and Cristina Frank)
It’s been long overdue, but the Fancy Fast Food book is finally here… it’s time to celebrate! For the occasion, we here in the Fancy Fast Food kitchen have baked a cake — err, made a cake without baking — in the only way we do things around here. You guessed it, we’ve styled a Subway footlong sub into petit fours, those bite-sized confections you eat as a final course, along with espresso served in fancy cups that you hold with your pinkies up in the air. (Oh you fancy, huh?) Sure, you can get pocket sized desserts at fast food chains (i.e. cookies, little apple pies), but where’s the gross out factor in that? We’re going to take fast food fancification to a new level (down, that is), by using mayo for “chocolate frosting,” and bologna as a “fondant.” Disgusting? You bet. But look how fancy it is! And you thought Subway called their employees “sandwich artists.” Pfft.
Ingredients (from Subway):
1 footlong Cold Cut Combo, on Italian bread with cucumbers and a ton of mayonnaise (ask that they don’t cut it in half)
1 cup of Coca-Cola
First things first; we’re going to need Coke reduction to use as a food coloring, so pour all the Coke in a non-stick skillet. Bring it to an aggressive boil, so all the water starts evaporating. Next, open the submarine sandwich. Hopefully your Subway “sandwich artist” put the layer of cold cuts with the salami and ham on top, so the mayonnaise doesn’t get all over the bologna, which we want to remain clean. Either way, scrape off all the mayonnaise and put it in a little prep bowl (and rinse of the bologna if there’s mayo on it). We really don’t need the textured slices of the ham and salami, so go ahead and eat them, feed them to your dog, or throw them against a window for fun.Next, the bread. Using a sharp knife, cut about 3” off the end. Start sculpting this piece by cutting and shaving off pieces so that what you have left are little, even square slabs of bread, about 2” wide. If you mess up, you have the rest of the bread to use. In the end, you should end up with six pieces — two sets of three pieces for the two petit fours shown in this recipe. (Go ahead and cut out more bread if you want; there’s enough bologna to make four.)Hopefully by now the Coke has reduced down to a thick syrup, which we are going to use as a food dye to make the mayonnaise look more chocolatey. Spoon Coke reduction into the prep bowl with the mayonnaise a little at a time as you mix it thoroughly. As soon as it starts to look the color of chocolate pudding, you’ve done enough. Take this “pudding” and spread it in between the three layers of bread for each of the petit fours you are going to make. Then stack them up, and clean off any extra “pudding” oozing out.Now it’s time to be the disgusting “cake boss” you never thought you could be. Using bologna as a “fondant,” drape a slice over each of the little stacks of bread — make sure you do this evenly, so each side will get coverage. Fold over the corners towards one side, and fasten them in place with toothpicks broken in half. Do this again to the other side, and repeat the process for each of the petit fours you are going to make.The little “cake” doesn’t look too fancy, so we’re going to decorate it. Unfortunately, we’ve used up all our mayonnaise, so we’re going to make the cucumbers look like icing. Using a sharp paring knife, cut off the green skin of a cucumber slice. Then, cut out a long strip of cucumber in a spiral fashion, so you can get the longest strand possible. Trim this strip down so it’s as thin as you can get it without falling apart. Repeat this process for as many cucubmer slices as you need.Lastly, the plating. Meticulously place the cucumber “icing” onto each petit four so it looks like it was applied naturally. Then place the petit fours on a fancy plate. Cut one open to show off the inside layers. Let it sit out for a while; you’ll be amazed at what prolonged exposure to oxygen can do to it aesthetically; the sides of the bologna start to dry and form interesting shades of pink, and the “chocolate mayonnaise” will appear more thick. And there you have it: Sublebration Cake from Subway. It’s celebration time! Now go get yourself a Fancy Fast Food book!Can’t get enough of Fancy Subway? Check out our Fancy Five-Dollar Farfalle.

If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.
Recipe for the week of February 16, 2012:

The pop culture satirical cookbook, Fancy Fast Food: Ironic Recipes with No Bun Intended, is finally here! Buy it on Amazon, or at FancyFastFoodBook.com at 25% off! (Enter the secret Animal Style code “NFAZL9WC”.)

Sublebration Cake! (Fancy Subway II)
by Erik Trinidad of Fancy Fast Food (with support from Mark Trinidad and Cristina Frank)

It’s been long overdue, but the Fancy Fast Food book is finally here… it’s time to celebrate! For the occasion, we here in the Fancy Fast Food kitchen have baked a cake — err, made a cake without baking — in the only way we do things around here. You guessed it, we’ve styled a Subway footlong sub into petit fours, those bite-sized confections you eat as a final course, along with espresso served in fancy cups that you hold with your pinkies up in the air. (Oh you fancy, huh?)

Sure, you can get pocket sized desserts at fast food chains (i.e. cookies, little apple pies), but where’s the gross out factor in that? We’re going to take fast food fancification to a new level (down, that is), by using mayo for “chocolate frosting,” and bologna as a “fondant.” Disgusting? You bet. But look how fancy it is! And you thought Subway called their employees “sandwich artists.” Pfft.

Ingredients (from Subway):

  • 1 footlong Cold Cut Combo, on Italian bread with cucumbers and a ton of mayonnaise (ask that they don’t cut it in half)
  • 1 cup of Coca-Cola

First things first; we’re going to need Coke reduction to use as a food coloring, so pour all the Coke in a non-stick skillet. Bring it to an aggressive boil, so all the water starts evaporating. Next, open the submarine sandwich. Hopefully your Subway “sandwich artist” put the layer of cold cuts with the salami and ham on top, so the mayonnaise doesn’t get all over the bologna, which we want to remain clean. Either way, scrape off all the mayonnaise and put it in a little prep bowl (and rinse of the bologna if there’s mayo on it). We really don’t need the textured slices of the ham and salami, so go ahead and eat them, feed them to your dog, or throw them against a window for fun.

Next, the bread. Using a sharp knife, cut about 3” off the end. Start sculpting this piece by cutting and shaving off pieces so that what you have left are little, even square slabs of bread, about 2” wide. If you mess up, you have the rest of the bread to use. In the end, you should end up with six pieces — two sets of three pieces for the two petit fours shown in this recipe. (Go ahead and cut out more bread if you want; there’s enough bologna to make four.)

Hopefully by now the Coke has reduced down to a thick syrup, which we are going to use as a food dye to make the mayonnaise look more chocolatey. Spoon Coke reduction into the prep bowl with the mayonnaise a little at a time as you mix it thoroughly. As soon as it starts to look the color of chocolate pudding, you’ve done enough. Take this “pudding” and spread it in between the three layers of bread for each of the petit fours you are going to make. Then stack them up, and clean off any extra “pudding” oozing out.

Now it’s time to be the disgusting “cake boss” you never thought you could be. Using bologna as a “fondant,” drape a slice over each of the little stacks of bread — make sure you do this evenly, so each side will get coverage. Fold over the corners towards one side, and fasten them in place with toothpicks broken in half. Do this again to the other side, and repeat the process for each of the petit fours you are going to make.

The little “cake” doesn’t look too fancy, so we’re going to decorate it. Unfortunately, we’ve used up all our mayonnaise, so we’re going to make the cucumbers look like icing. Using a sharp paring knife, cut off the green skin of a cucumber slice. Then, cut out a long strip of cucumber in a spiral fashion, so you can get the longest strand possible. Trim this strip down so it’s as thin as you can get it without falling apart. Repeat this process for as many cucubmer slices as you need.

Lastly, the plating. Meticulously place the cucumber “icing” onto each petit four so it looks like it was applied naturally. Then place the petit fours on a fancy plate. Cut one open to show off the inside layers. Let it sit out for a while; you’ll be amazed at what prolonged exposure to oxygen can do to it aesthetically; the sides of the bologna start to dry and form interesting shades of pink, and the “chocolate mayonnaise” will appear more thick. And there you have it: Sublebration Cake from Subway. It’s celebration time! Now go get yourself a Fancy Fast Food book!

Can’t get enough of Fancy Subway? Check out our Fancy Five-Dollar Farfalle.



If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.

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Wendy’s Wonton Soup (Fancy Wendy’s Chicken Go Wraps) by Erik of Fancy Fast Food
You don’t need to be in the People’s Republic of China to know that Chinese New Year is upon us; I mean, there’s at least one Chinese family in every American town running a take out joint who is celebrating. The Lunar New Year is the biggest celebration amongst the Chinese people wherever they are in the world, and it’s often observed with dancing lions, firecrackers, family time, and enough auspicious mandarin oranges to make more than a gallon of good luck orange juice.We here in the Fancy Fast Food kitchen will honor Chinese New Year in the way we do best, not with a bag of oranges, but with a bag of  Wendy’s fast food. We’ve already transformed Wendy’s fare into Jewish celebratory cuisine, but in this Year of the Dragon, we’ll be inspired by the Orient. Hope that dragon likes soup…
Ingredients (from Wendy’s):
6 Grilled Chicken Go Wraps
1 JBC (Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger)
1 bottle of water
First, go and unwrap each Go Wrap, and extract the chicken and all the additional fillings of shredded cheese, lettuce, and honey mustard. Take a few of the half chicken breasts, plus a few strands of lettuce, and grind them in a food processor to make our wontons’ filling.You now have six sloppy tortilla wraps left over; rinse each of them under the sink to really wash off any residual honey mustard or cheese. Then lay one wrap flat on a cutting board, and cut out a square in the center of it, about 5”. Take the square and rinse it again on both sides. Then, hold it in one hand and use your other to grab a sizeable pinch of chicken filling to put it in the center of the square. Fold the square in half, and press the edges down as best you can so that they stick together. Fold the wrapper again, from the crease outwards, then flip the ends upwards so that a wonton shape is born, and seal it with a pinch. Do this with the five other tortilla wraps.Next, the broth. Fill a pot with the entire bottle of water, and bring it to a boil. Add in some shreds of lettuce. Slice the bacon from the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger into little strips, and put them in the broth as well. Add Wendy’s sea salt to taste.Lastly, the plating: ladle out the broth into a fancy bowl, and then delicately add the wontons to it. Finely chop the lettuce from the burger into small bits and use them as a garnish. And there you have it: Wendy’s Wonton Soup, fit enough for a dragon (or a snake next year). Happy Chinese New Year!

If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.
Recipe for the week of January 26, 2012:

Wendy’s Wonton Soup (Fancy Wendy’s Chicken Go Wraps)
by Erik of Fancy Fast Food

You don’t need to be in the People’s Republic of China to know that Chinese New Year is upon us; I mean, there’s at least one Chinese family in every American town running a take out joint who is celebrating. The Lunar New Year is the biggest celebration amongst the Chinese people wherever they are in the world, and it’s often observed with dancing lions, firecrackers, family time, and enough auspicious mandarin oranges to make more than a gallon of good luck orange juice.

We here in the Fancy Fast Food kitchen will honor Chinese New Year in the way we do best, not with a bag of oranges, but with a bag of Wendy’s fast food. We’ve already transformed Wendy’s fare into Jewish celebratory cuisine, but in this Year of the Dragon, we’ll be inspired by the Orient. Hope that dragon likes soup…

Ingredients (from Wendy’s):

  • 6 Grilled Chicken Go Wraps
  • 1 JBC (Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger)
  • 1 bottle of water

First, go and unwrap each Go Wrap, and extract the chicken and all the additional fillings of shredded cheese, lettuce, and honey mustard. Take a few of the half chicken breasts, plus a few strands of lettuce, and grind them in a food processor to make our wontons’ filling.

You now have six sloppy tortilla wraps left over; rinse each of them under the sink to really wash off any residual honey mustard or cheese. Then lay one wrap flat on a cutting board, and cut out a square in the center of it, about 5”. Take the square and rinse it again on both sides. Then, hold it in one hand and use your other to grab a sizeable pinch of chicken filling to put it in the center of the square. Fold the square in half, and press the edges down as best you can so that they stick together. Fold the wrapper again, from the crease outwards, then flip the ends upwards so that a wonton shape is born, and seal it with a pinch. Do this with the five other tortilla wraps.

Next, the broth. Fill a pot with the entire bottle of water, and bring it to a boil. Add in some shreds of lettuce. Slice the bacon from the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger into little strips, and put them in the broth as well. Add Wendy’s sea salt to taste.

Lastly, the plating: ladle out the broth into a fancy bowl, and then delicately add the wontons to it. Finely chop the lettuce from the burger into small bits and use them as a garnish. And there you have it: Wendy’s Wonton Soup, fit enough for a dragon (or a snake next year). Happy Chinese New Year!



If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.

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Chripotle Christmas Tamales (Fancy Chipotle Mexican Grill II) by Erik of Fancy Fast Food
Steve Ells and the folks at Chipotle Mexican Grill have been on a mission: to make “rapidly prepared food” (a.k.a. fast food) in the most socially responsible way possible for a nationwide chain of restaurants. While that’s respectable and all, Ells and his team forgot one thing: they’re claiming to be a Mexican grill, and they’ve done nothing to pay homage to Mexico — the country whose cuisine they’ve been inspired by. Perhaps this act of supposed cultural insensitivity is intentional, perhaps they just don’t care. Or maybe they’re just too busy enlisting Americans like Willie Nelson to cover Coldplay’s “The Scientist” for their anti-factory farm ad campaign, that they simply just forgot that “Mexican” is their middle name. There are many customs in Mexico, particularly during the holidays. In terms of Christmas culinary tradition, tamales — that delicacy of meat wrapped in a corn flour dough and steamed in a corn husk — are traditionally prepared, served, and eaten during the season of Navidad. Why hasn’t Chipotle Mexican Grill embraced this? Have no fear, Mr. Ells & Co., for here’s a Fancy Fast Food recipe that uses all your existing ingredients and repurposes them, so you don’t have to look like complete culturally-insensitive pricks. We here in the Fancy Fast Food kitchen will take care of the tamales; in the meantime, try and get Willie Nelson to sing “Feliz Navidad” for your next ad campaign.
Ingredients (from Chipotle Mexican Grill):
3 Burritos with nothing but Carnitas and Roasted Chili & Corn Salsa 
3 bags of chips with Red Tomatillo Salsa
1 bottle of water
First, unwrap each of the burritos and separate the ingredients. Hand pick out the shreds of pork and collect them into a bowl, and then scoop out and pour all the corn salsa into another bowl. Take each of the remaining tortillas and rinse them off in the sink, being careful not to tear them. Place them flat and let them dry with paper towels. Chipotle Mexican Grill already marinates and seasons their pork, but we’re going to make it a little spicier for the Mexican palate. Put all the carnitas in a small saucepan, stir in some of the tomatillo salsa (to your liking), and let the two fuse together for 5-10 minutes over a low heat. The main ingredient of tamales is masa harina, a corn flour made from a variety of corns. We only have two kinds — corn kernel salsa and corn chips — so we’ll have to make do. First, take the chips and crush them down into a fine powder. There are many ways to do this; you could use a food processor or coffee been grinder, but if you really want to get the chips down to a fine powder, grind them yourself with a stone mortar and pestle. Start slowly so you don’t get chips all over your kitchen counter, and gradually grind them down to a fine flour. Collect it all into a bowl. The other type of corn is wet, so we’ll purée that in a food processor. As the blade spins, gradually spoon in some of the ground corn flour, and pour in a little water as needed, until it becomes a mushy dough. Masa! We don’t have corn husks to steam our tamales in, so we’ll have to improvise using the big tortillas. However, we can at least make them look a little bit more like corn husks, by adding a fibrous texture to them. After much experimentation, the best way to do this is to lightly roll a pizza cutter up and down each tortilla. Score — but don’t cut — in one direction until it starts resembling the texture of a corn husk. If you’ve made tamales before, the rest is familiar. Spread some makeshift masa into the center of the “husk.” Add a strip of carnitas in the center, and then fold over the “husk” — one side and then the other, and then fold the ends in. A real corn husk can be folded in a way that you need not tie it together before steaming, but in this case, we’ll tie each with kitchen string — they make them look like three little Christmas gifts that way (for each of the three kings, if you will). Steam the tamales in a steamer, and then unwrap each carefully. Inside you’ll find a surprisingly decent tamale — one that actually tastes like a tamale — ready to serve for Christmas, may it be in Mexico, or in your nearest Chipotle Mexican Grill. Add some tomatillo salsa for garnish and an extra kick of spice, and have a Feliz Navidad!

If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.
Recipe for the week of December 19, 2011:

Chripotle Christmas Tamales (Fancy Chipotle Mexican Grill II)
by Erik of Fancy Fast Food

Steve Ells and the folks at Chipotle Mexican Grill have been on a mission: to make “rapidly prepared food” (a.k.a. fast food) in the most socially responsible way possible for a nationwide chain of restaurants. While that’s respectable and all, Ells and his team forgot one thing: they’re claiming to be a Mexican grill, and they’ve done nothing to pay homage to Mexico — the country whose cuisine they’ve been inspired by. Perhaps this act of supposed cultural insensitivity is intentional, perhaps they just don’t care. Or maybe they’re just too busy enlisting Americans like Willie Nelson to cover Coldplay’s “The Scientist” for their anti-factory farm ad campaign, that they simply just forgot that “Mexican” is their middle name.

There are many customs in Mexico, particularly during the holidays. In terms of Christmas culinary tradition, tamales — that delicacy of meat wrapped in a corn flour dough and steamed in a corn husk — are traditionally prepared, served, and eaten during the season of Navidad. Why hasn’t Chipotle Mexican Grill embraced this?

Have no fear, Mr. Ells & Co., for here’s a Fancy Fast Food recipe that uses all your existing ingredients and repurposes them, so you don’t have to look like complete culturally-insensitive pricks. We here in the Fancy Fast Food kitchen will take care of the tamales; in the meantime, try and get Willie Nelson to sing “Feliz Navidad” for your next ad campaign.

Ingredients (from Chipotle Mexican Grill):

  • 3 Burritos with nothing but Carnitas and Roasted Chili & Corn Salsa
  • 3 bags of chips with Red Tomatillo Salsa
  • 1 bottle of water

First, unwrap each of the burritos and separate the ingredients. Hand pick out the shreds of pork and collect them into a bowl, and then scoop out and pour all the corn salsa into another bowl. Take each of the remaining tortillas and rinse them off in the sink, being careful not to tear them. Place them flat and let them dry with paper towels.

Chipotle Mexican Grill already marinates and seasons their pork, but we’re going to make it a little spicier for the Mexican palate. Put all the carnitas in a small saucepan, stir in some of the tomatillo salsa (to your liking), and let the two fuse together for 5-10 minutes over a low heat.

The main ingredient of tamales is masa harina, a corn flour made from a variety of corns. We only have two kinds — corn kernel salsa and corn chips — so we’ll have to make do. First, take the chips and crush them down into a fine powder. There are many ways to do this; you could use a food processor or coffee been grinder, but if you really want to get the chips down to a fine powder, grind them yourself with a stone mortar and pestle. Start slowly so you don’t get chips all over your kitchen counter, and gradually grind them down to a fine flour. Collect it all into a bowl.

The other type of corn is wet, so we’ll purée that in a food processor. As the blade spins, gradually spoon in some of the ground corn flour, and pour in a little water as needed, until it becomes a mushy dough. Masa!

We don’t have corn husks to steam our tamales in, so we’ll have to improvise using the big tortillas. However, we can at least make them look a little bit more like corn husks, by adding a fibrous texture to them. After much experimentation, the best way to do this is to lightly roll a pizza cutter up and down each tortilla. Score — but don’t cut — in one direction until it starts resembling the texture of a corn husk.

If you’ve made tamales before, the rest is familiar. Spread some makeshift masa into the center of the “husk.” Add a strip of carnitas in the center, and then fold over the “husk” — one side and then the other, and then fold the ends in. A real corn husk can be folded in a way that you need not tie it together before steaming, but in this case, we’ll tie each with kitchen string — they make them look like three little Christmas gifts that way (for each of the three kings, if you will).



Steam the tamales in a steamer, and then unwrap each carefully. Inside you’ll find a surprisingly decent tamale — one that actually tastes like a tamale — ready to serve for Christmas, may it be in Mexico, or in your nearest Chipotle Mexican Grill. Add some tomatillo salsa for garnish and an extra kick of spice, and have a Feliz Navidad!



If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.

Comments (View)